As I’m heading to film school, this would be my film journal to keep track on what I’ve been doing

Happy Weeps Analysis

I believe the word “penumbra” maybe a good choice.

1. It is an unusual word and not common in titling works of art.
2. Has a deeper meaning when used as an art form.
3. Relates to your work, since your work is describing “shadows of the past”.

As one adventures the path of life, we make choices that direct us into other conclusions that may cause atomic reactions to prior duties and reflections. Penumbra is the defining word that describes the shadowing points casts by celestial bodies onto others. Pain to one person over the haunting shadow of rejection and then attempting to redeem thyself, splatters images of regret and resolution in the metaphor of healing. Yet, the memory can never be erased but used as fuel to move forward in hopes that prior mistakes are never made again

(Whatley, 2009).

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The following film is a metaphorical representation of issues that affect one’s life.
The representation of the flower in the first scene represents pure love which later fades (illustrated as the scene fades into monotone). This scene was meant to illustrate love, and how love is not defined by gender or sexual orientation. Love is love, and it happens to anyone.

The next scene which shows a man running and deciding to take a left turn instead of going straight, is an indirect representation of life – that it is a long winding road with different paths to choose from. (A metaphor of how in life, people make choices and some people choose to ditch the conventional norms and live a life unique to themselves) Later, it shows how the man in the corner looks at the other man lustfully with his eyes. This scene was intended to illustrate homosexual love.

That scene freezes in motion and fades away into monotone, illustrating how that love is now gone. Forward to the take where there is the loving couple. The fact that this scene is shot in color is a representation of how the love is pure and right, and not frowned upon – heterosexual love. Everything about this scene, from the choice of clothing color (white) and the physical affection illustrated by the couple (the way their bodies connect and the joy resulting from that) represents the purity and acceptance of that relationship; how the couple need not hide their displays of affections and can enjoy being a happy couple in love.

The next scene illustrates a different kind of love. This scene is ambiguous and could mean either a ‘friendship’ kind of love (where the two girls at the table are gossiping and enjoying each other’s company) or it could represent “self-love” where the girl who walks by; decked in loud, attention-grabbing clothes illustrates the love of material wealth and idolization (by the two girls sitting at the table). Again, this scene is ambiguous and it is up to the audience to decide who they identify with.

The next scene is the focal point of the film. It is in this scene that the main character reveals herself – how she’s actually a person that lives in her own world and how the scenes beforehand are actually snippets of her life.

The next scene where day transits to night represents how as a person, she is like night and day. It illustrates the wilder side of her personality as well as the other extreme – where she is sensitive and yearning for a different kind of love from what she experiences daily in her hectic lifestyle; bombarded with parties and glitterati. Presumable, she is looking for something else in life – something not found in her current lifestyle as it doesn’t fulfill her because at the end of the day she still ends up walking alone. (as seen in the earlier scene)

The girl in red who walks in the party scene represents elitism, desire and longing that the girl in white is introduced to in her daily life. She is later greeted by her lover with a hug and a kiss, who later ushers her into the ‘party scene’. Was the love and affection real? Or was it not? This scene is left open ended, for the audience to decide upon.

The next scene is also a crucial part of the film. The flashback as the black and white flower petals gain momentum and color is a subtle illustration of the past – in this case, the past of the main character. Later a girl’s face flashes onto the screen. This scene was intended to be a flashback representation of the main character’s ex-girlfriend and how conflicted she is over the relationship. As with the part where the character has a mask on and the people around her change (flicker) save for the girl she is in love with, it illustrates how the person has gone through so many other people (relationship-wise) in her daily life but at the end of the day, still longs for the love of one person – her ex-girlfriend.

The scene transits back to the earlier heterosexual couple, only this time they are being handcuffed. The man in this scene actually represents the main character (the girl in white). The scene shows how he tries to get her back, but the girl takes a knife and pulls away. Tears flow down his cheeks because all he really wanted to do in the first place was to love her.

The film cuts to the next scene where the two main characters are partying once again. The glass represents the degree of separation the main character has with her ex-girlfriend – speaking of love and desire which she has constantly failed to attain. The use of glass symbolizes an event or situation that seems so clear and distinct yet so hard to attain and breakthrough. Their love is right in front of their eyes, but somehow fails to work out. Both characters scramble and try to claw their way through to each other but tire out and slowly die. This represents the death and suffocation of the whole entire relationship.

In the second final scene, it shows how the girl who was gossiping early ended up dead with blood trickling down her mouth – the source of malice and ill-intention.

In the last scene, the main character angles the gun towards her head and all of the prior scene were actually that of her life being flashed before her very eyes, moments before pulling the trigger and killing herself. This scene is intended to illustrate the killing of her old self or more or less herself as she has nothing else to bare any form of pain and desire that came from the love she once had.

Nicole Chen